Facial Ticket
by Ub3rD4n
Summary: Wilt wins two tickets to a basketball game, and can't decide who to take! Okay, keep in mind I wrote this before anyone saw Ticket To Rod...also, you may want to read my other fanfics before this one, to save confusion. I'm just sayin....


Title card: Title written on a ticket (like a movie ticket or something) on a kitchen bench

Chapter 1: Cause I've Got A Golden Ticket

The spring wind blew through the air around Fosters. It was a fine day, one in which imaginary friends ought to be out playing, say...basketball? The radio sat on the bench played funky music as Wilt effortlessly dodged around Bloo and dunked the ball in Bloo's hoop.  
"That's forty to two! But don't worry you guys. You can still win."  
"Well, I COULD if my teammate would show a little hustle."  
"Cocococo coco cococo!"  
"Alright, alright." Bloo admitted grudgingly. "It's this darn radio! It's distracting me is all."  
"Oh, I'm sorry Bloo." Wilt apologized, as he was so prone to doing "You can turn it off if you want."  
"Okay then, I will." Bloo stated, and made his way across the basketball court to turn the radio off. As he did, the DJ called out: "Okay, basketball fans! Here's the question you've been waiting for! The first person to get this right gets two free tickets to the next Bakers game!"  
At this, Wilt snapped his head in the direction of the radio, and ran over to Bloo (which, despite his being half a basketball court away, only took a few steps) and picked him up by the head. "Sorry!"  
"And the question is...who is the current centre for the Townsville Bakers?"  
At this, Wilt put Bloo down gently but quickly and ran inside to the kitchen, where Frankie was talking on the phone. Wilt snatched it out of her hands and said "Sorry, she'll call back later, bye!" slammed the phone down on the hook, and then started frantically dialing.  
"Wilt! What the heck are you-"  
"Sorry Frankie! I need to use the phone for a second, is that okay?"  
"Well-"  
"Hello? The answer you're looking for is Jordan Michaels! I won? Really? My name's Wilt, and I live at 1123 Wilson Way. I'd like to give a shout out to all my pals at Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends, if that's okay. Thanks!"  
Wilt hung up the phone. Frankie looked at him smugly.  
"So, what'd you win?"  
"Oh, sorry about that Frankie, but I had to hurry. It was for a real good cause. Two tickets to the Bakers game tonight! They're playing the Dimsdale Ball Hogs and it's gonna be great!"  
At this point, Bloo, Coco and Eduardo had entered the kitchen.  
"What was all that about? Scared of losing?" asked Bloo  
"I just won two tickets!"  
"To the Ice Charades?" asked Eduardo hopefully.  
"No, to a basketball game."  
"Aw, I no get to sing the "I'm going to the Ice Charades" song."  
"What're you talking about?" Bloo asked. "There's only TWO tickets. That's me and Wilt."  
"Nuh-uh! I know Senor Wilt muy longer than you! He take me! Right Wilt?"  
"Well, I-"  
"Cocococo cococo!"  
"What're you both, nuts? Wilt likes me best! That's why he gave me his bed! And his Coco cards! And some of his dinner! And his pills that one time I wanted to see what they tasted like!"  
The discussion dissolved into a simple shouting contest between the three friends, with Wilt trying to get a word in edgewise.  
"Okay, everyone settle down!" yelled Frankie eventually. "Now, there's no need to argue, it's pretty obvious who Wilt's taking to the game. The person who's his best friend. The person who's nice and kind and pretty and works so hard to cook him meals every day..."  
"You mean you, Frankie?" asked Wilt.  
"You don't understand!" cried Frankie, grabbing Wilt by the back of the neck and pulling him to eye level "I gotta get out of here for just one night! You don't know what it's like to have that rabbit breathing down your neck every minute of every day!"  
"Whoa, calm down. Now, I'm sorry, but I can't decide just who I'm gonna take with me at the moment, so just give me a while and I'm sure I'll decide eventually. In the meantime, who want's lemonade?" Wilt asked, crouching down to open the fridge.  
"I'll get it!" screamed Bloo, slamming the fridge door open and into Wilt's head.  
"No, I'll get it! I do everything around here anyway!" Frankie shouted, trying to wrestle the lemonade out of Bloo's arms. Wilt dazedly got to his feet.  
"You forget the ice!" shouted Eduardo, slamming the freezer door open and into Wilt's face, knocking him down again. As the others fought over lemonade, Coco just layed an egg and popped it open to reveal a glass of lemonade, which she offered to Wilt. Wilt drank it, and instantly regretted it, as it was waaay too sour! Coco was then knocked out of the way by a dripping, panting Frankie, holding a tray with four glasses of lemonade on it.  
"Your lemonade."  
"Uh, sorry Frankie, but that was supposed to be for you guys."  
At this, Bloo yanked a glass off of the tray and skulled it down. The others followed.  
"Sorry, but maybe you guys should take it easy, you don't wanna get hiccups." Wilt said, concerned.  
"Hey, Wilt, wanna sandwich?" Frankie asked and, without waiting for a reply, began making him one.   
"Don't be stupid! Wilt likes chips!" yelled Bloo, and he and Coco ran to the pantry also. Wilt just stood there, watching in shock. A potato was passed under his nose.  
"Potato?" asked Eduardo, temptingly.  
"Uh, no thanks."  
The other three ran towards Wilt with their food.  
"Here's your sandwich!" yelled Frankie, stuffing it in his mouth before the others could get there. Bloo then stuffed a bag of chips in Wilt's mouth (without taking them out of the packet), and finally, Coco tried to feed him a honey covered pickle.  
"Potaaaatoooo..."  
"Hey, now that's really taking things too far!" shouted Wilt. "Can't we work things out like reasonable adults?"  
The others stared guiltily at Wilt and each other for a while before Frankie said "You heard him. Reasonable adults. That means give it to the eldest, which is me."  
"Nuh-uh! You is no eldest! I am!"  
And the shouting match began anew.

Chapter 2: Under Pressure

The doors to Fosters slammed open.  
"Bloo! Bloo!?" came the call of a familiar voice. Mac came walking through the doors to Fosters, looking for his friends. He didn't have to look far before he found a massive argument taking place that seemed to be centered on Wilt. Mac tried repeatedly to get anyone's attention, and eventually was forced to scream "Will you all tell me what is going on!" which was met with some stunned silence as everyone took in the fact that Mac was in the room.  
"Oh, sorry, Mac. I didn't see you what with all the..." Wilt trailed off.  
"So what are you all so worked up about?"  
"Well, you see, I won two tickets to the game tonight, and the guys and I were just discussing who gets to go."  
"Meaning everyone yells at you and you can't make a coherent decision."  
"Uh, yeah, pretty much."  
Mac turned to face his other friends. "Well, I'm ashamed of all of you. Wilt just wanted to take one of his friends to a basketball game and you did nothing but hassle him. I expected better of all of you. Especially Frankie."  
Frankie, Eduardo, Coco and Bloo all looked ashamed. Mac grabbed Wilt's arm and began leading him away. "Now, I'm gonna take Wilt away and keep him safe from you guys until he's made his decision." Mac finished scornfully.

"Could you believe those guys?"  
"Well, they're all just a little over excited, Mac. There's no need to be so harsh on them."  
"No way, Wilt. They tried to take advantage of your good nature and it just makes me sick when people do that. You're such a nice guy, being mean to you is like...I dunno, kicking a puppy or something."  
"Wow. Thanks Mac."  
"I just get tired of everyone taking advantage of you all the time."  
"Well, you don't take advantage of me."  
"Exactly! That's why you should take ME with you! Those other guys don't deserve it! They're always "Wilt, get me a sandwich" or "Wilt, plug in me night light" or "Coco, cocococococo.", but I never asked you for anything before now!"  
"Uh, I'm sorry Mac, but I dunno.."  
"Come on, Wilt! I wanna go to one basketball game where I don't end up in the emergency room!"  
"I'm sorry, Mac. We didn't know you were allergic to Cajun spices."  
"Well, neither did I. I'm just glad the swelling went down before we had to fly home, or mom would have asked questions."  
"And you wouldn't have been able to breathe."  
"Well, you can make up for that now, Wilt! Invite me to the game!"  
"I'm sorry, Mac! I'm still deciding! I guess I'd better go."  
"That's okay, Wilt. I trust you'll make the right decision."

Wilt walked into his room, looking thoughtful, and sat down on Bloo's bed (having none of his own).  
"Hola, Senor Wilt!" came a call from the bunk above. "I was just thinking," said Eduardo, as he leaned his head down to be able to see Wilt "I is okay with you not taking me to the game. I is...big boy...and can handle...like...a...waaahaha!" Eduardo broke down crying.   
"Whoa, easy Ed! Sh-sh-sh, it'll be okay!"  
"You no like Eduardo! I thought we was friends! Waah!"  
"Calm down, Ed! If it means that much to you, I can-"  
"Don't mind me! Just in here to do the cleaning!" called Frankie loudly, as she walked in, and began pulling the sheets off the beds.   
"Frankie!" exclaimed Wilt, surprised to see her.  
"I'm just here to change the sheets, like I ALWAYS do! Nothing out of the ordinary, just working my fingers to the bone, like every day!"  
"I'll, uh, leave you to it then." Wilt said, taking the opportunity to leave.  
"This close." said Eduardo to Frankie, holding his fingers up.  
"Awww, too bad."

Wilt walked along the corridors of Fosters, more confused than ever, when he walked into Bloo.  
"Wilt, you and I both know that I'll be the most fun person to take to that game."  
"Bloo, I'm still deciding! Go away, please!"  
"Come on!"  
"No!"  
"Come oon!"  
"No!"  
"Come oooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn !"  
"No!"  
"Fine, you leave me no choice. Wilt, if you don't take me to this game, you won't be my friend anymore."  
"Nope."  
"What?!"  
"I know you, Bloo. And you're not enough of a jerk to just finish our friendship over something as pointless as this. So that was an idle threat." Wilt replied, walking off.  
"Wait! No! I AM a jerk! I WOULD do that! Come back! I'm not a nice guy!"

Wilt was feeling rather good after that last encounter, but it didn't last. He saw Coco blocking his way ahead, leaning against the wall.   
"Coco co." said Coco, fluttering her eyelashes at him.  
"Uh...hi...Coco."  
Coco sidled up against Wilt and said softly "Coco coco...co."  
Wilt panicked at this and blurted "Sorry, Coco, but you're my friend! Sorry, bye!" and ran off again. Bloo came walking along and asked matter-of-factly "No luck either?"  
"Co."

Chapter 3: Nowhere To Run

"I knew Wilt wouldn't fall for your girly-tricks!" Bloo gloated at Coco.  
"Coco coco!" Coco retorted.  
"I'm wearing him down! Take it from a professional moocher, Coco, you gotta be patient with a score this big."  
"What're you two talkin' about?" Jackie Khones said in passing.  
"Cocococo co."  
"Coco!" Bloo scolded, as Jackie Khones ran off with a keen look in his eye. "Now the whole house'll know!"

"That's weird..." Wilt said, as he sat on the stairs in the main foyer. "We don't get earthquakes here..." suddenly, Wilt saw what the rumbling was, as hundreds of smiling friends bore down on him.  
"Hey, Wilt buddy!" Jackie Khones said.  
"Hey, Wilt, wanna hear a joke?" asked The New Guy.  
"No, he wants to hear a song!" argued Eurotrish.  
"Hey Wilt, I got this for you." said Bendy, handing Wilt an ipod.  
"Uh, thanks, Bendy, but I can't take- hey, why does this say "Frankie Foster" on it?"  
"What? I didn't know! I got it from him!" cried Bendy, bawling, and pointing to Crackers. Joey, and insectoid friend, sprang down from the ceiling, hanging by a silk thread. "Care for an ice cream, Wilt?" he asked, spraying ice cream into a cone from out of his armpit.  
"Uh, no thanks." Wilt replied weakly.  
"I'll take it!" Bloo cried, jumping up and grabbing the ice cream and then proceeding to lick it. "It's good! You ought to try some, Wilt!"  
"Hey, you guys back off! Senor Wilt is our friend!" called Eduardo, as he, Mac and Frankie approached the crowd.  
"Yeah!" agreed Mac. "If anyone's gonna go with him to the game, it's us!"  
"Uch righ!" muttered Bloo with his mouth full.  
"Where'd he go?" asked Jackie, followed by a pause while everyone looked for Wilt.  
"He must've gone this way!" screeched Bloo, and the horde ran off in that direction. After a while, Wilt came out of the foyer bathroom, looking very nervous. Just as he was about to walk off, the doorbell rang. Wilt walked over to answer it.  
"Hi, welcome to Fosters. How may I help- oh!"  
The "oh!" was Wilt noticing that the person at the door was Terrence.  
"You're that Wilt guy, right?"  
"Well, yeah." Wilt replied, slightly offended. Terrence grabbed Wilt and brought him to eye level.  
"Well, if you don't give me your tickets to the game, I'm gonna give you an eye to match your right one!"  
"You mean left."  
"Huh?"  
"It's your right, my left."  
"Your left?"  
"Right!"  
"I thought you said left!"  
"Yes, left is right!"  
"No it's not!"  
"Yes it is! To me, anyway."  
"But I'm me."  
"And you're not right."  
"I thought you said I was right! Man, this is confusing...Wait! I see what you're doing! You're trying to confuse me! Well your little trick didn't work! I'm gonna go home so you CAN'T trick me! Whaddaya say to that, smart guy?"  
"Uh...no, don't?"  
"Oh, yes I will! See ya later, loser!" Terrence said, and walked off, laughing, slamming the door behind him.  
"Okay, that was weird."  
Wilt then noticed a poking at his shoulder. He turned around to see Foul Larry, looking at him intensely.  
"Lemme guess...give you the ticket or you'll beat me up?"  
"Oh, no! You got me all wrong, Wilt! I know you'd never give up a friend's ticket to save your own sorry hide. No, give me the ticket or I'll beat up THIS guy!" he announced, pulling Slugger out from behind his back.  
"He'll do it! He's a madman!"  
Wilt looked long and hard at the two of them and eventually said "Okay."  
"Okay?"  
"I don't think I like him enough to give up a ticket for one of my friends. You do what you have to do." Wilt said, and walked off.  
"Okay, so maybe we aren't best friends forever like I said we were." Slugger grudgingly mentioned.  
"When you lie to me, it hurts my feelings." Foul Larry said menacingly. "Now, I made a promise to Wilt, and I think I should see it through."  
The other friends suddenly heard a lot of wailing as they searched the house for signs of Wilt.

Chapter 4: Is That Your Final Decision?

The house was full of friends looking everywhere for Wilt. Terrence burst back through the door. "Hey! I just realised that guy tricked me!" He yelled before grabbing Mac. "Tell me where Wilt is before I pound you!"  
"We're ALL trying to find Wilt. You can help look."  
"...Uhh..okay, then. I will." Terrence grudgingly admitted, trying to make it seem like it was his idea. "Where is that guy anyway?"

"May I help you, Master Wilt?"  
"I'd be grateful if you could." said Wilt, casting his glance nervously outside Mr Herriman's office door to see if anyone had spotted him.  
"Well, then, what seems to be the problem?"  
"Well, I won a radio contest and got two tickets to the Bakers game tonight, but I can't decide who to take with me. And the other residents aren't being too subtle about wanting it."  
"Ah, I see. Quite the quandary." Mr Herriman stated, then got up from behind his desk and hopped over to Wilt. "Well, as in all things, one must approach this in an orderly fashion. How about we look at the house records and see who's file we come across first, hm?"  
"Well, that sounds fair."  
Mr Herriman hopped over to his filing cabinet and opened the top drawer. "Now, this file will contain the first imaginary friend to enter this house who still lives here. And let's see...well, what do you know?" he said, showing the file to Wilt "It appears to be MY name. Well, I would be honoured to go with you, Master Wilt, you can just go and tell the other friends you have reached a decision."  
"Uh, Mr Herriman.."  
"Yes, Master Wilt? Do you have a problem with my system?"  
"Uh, no-well, yes. Uh, it's just, that...I may have to uh...think about it some more." Wilt finished, sounding disappointed.  
"Ah," said Mr Herriman sharply, "in that case you can wait outside. I am a busy rabbit." and then proceeded to shove Wilt out of his office and slammed the door behind.  
Immediately after that, someone yelled "There he is!" and a gang of imaginary friends began to chase Wilt down. Wilt ran fast (he had a leg span advantage over almost every friend in the house) and was eventually yanked through a doorway, which the door for slammed after him. Wilt found himself in a dark closet. Two big shining eyes looked up at him.  
"Shhhh!" came Madame Foster's voice. Wilt relaxed.  
"Madame Foster, you scared me for a second there!"  
"I said shhhhh! Ya don't want them findin' you, do you?"  
"Uh, no. That was really nice of you, hiding me from the other-wait! You're being nice to me! I've seen this before! You're just after my ticket!"  
"So, you won't give the extra ticket to a sweet, kind old lady?"  
"No! I need to decide on my own!"  
"If that's the way you feel..."  
Madame Foster then chucked Wilt out of the closet and yelled "He's over here!" which sent a scramble of imaginary friends chasing Wilt once more. This time Wilt pulled into the library and proceeded to barricade himself in using desks, chairs and bookshelves piled in front of the doors. Wilt then leaned against the barricade and let out a deep sigh of relief.  
"Is there any reason you've decided to rearrange the furniture in a manner where I can't get out?" came a voice from inside the library. Wilt turned around to see Smarty Pants sitting at a desk, apparently in the process of reading a thick book.  
"Oh, great," Wilt said wearily, "I suppose you want my ticket, too."  
"What ticket?"  
"Don't you know? I won two tickets to the game tonight. Everyone wants one."  
"Well, I've been in here all day. And no, I don't want your ticket. I have a...phobia of sporting events. DON'T SAY ANYTHING!"  
"...I wasn't...Wait, you don't want the ticket!" Wilt exclaimed and dived onto Smarty Pants. "You gotta help me decide who to take! It's been driving me crazy all day!"  
"I can't help."  
"What?"  
"Wilt, you need someone to help who you know and trust the judgement of for something as important to you as this, or you'll constantly be second-guessing yourself."  
"But all of my friends are here at Fosters!"  
"All of them?"  
"Yes, all-...not quite! Thanks, Smarty Pants, I owe you! Would you mind if I went out the window?"  
"Considering the circumstances, no, not really."

BLAM! The library doors were forced open, revealing a crowd of imaginary friends, Terrence, Mac, Frankie and Madame Foster, who had used Slugger's head for a battering ram. They discarded him, overran Smarty Pants, and started searching the room. After a few minutes of fruitless searching, they moved to surround Smarty Pants.  
"Where's Wilt?" Frankie asked.  
"He has previously vacated the premises with alacricity." said Smarty Pants, who was only partly conscious after being stampeded.  
"Uh, anyone else catch that?" Terrence asked.  
"He means Wilt's gone!" cried Bloo, and the stampede left the library and headed back into the main foyer, where they found Wilt, standing there next to a phone, smiling.  
"Hey, guys! I got great news! I just got off the phone with my friend Jordan Michaels! I asked him who I should take to the game and, funny thing, he said he'd already got me three tickets to the game! He'd been trying to contact me all afternoon! Funny, huh? Now I can take Mac, Ed, Coco, Bloo and Frankie to the game! This whole thing was totally pointless!" Wilt began laughing over the whole ordeal. The other friends dispersed disappointedly, except Frankie, Mac, Coco and Eduardo, who looked guilty, and Bloo, who was dancing happily.   
"Gee...looking back just now," Frankie said "We acted like jerks for nothing..."  
"Coco."  
"Is true." Eduardo agreed. "We is sorry, Senor Wilt."  
"Nah, don't think about it! It all turned out okay in the end! Don't look so sad, Mac!"  
"Oh, it's not that." Mac said slowly "It's just that...three plus two? That's five. And there's six of us."  
"Oh..." said Wilt. Bloo stopped dancing at this point. "Well, I'm a big man. I can decide myself...Eenie meenie miney mo. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go, eenie meenie miney-"  
"NOOOOOOO!"

The End

Epilogue:  
Bloo watching the game from home alone in the media room, looking angry.  
"Lousy Wilt, picking...randomly...have to watch the game on a lousy...widescreen TV. So mad I could punch someone."  
"Look at it this way!" said Slugger jovially, jumping onto the couch, "You get to spend the game with me!"  
PUNCH!


End file.
